Evil Office

Hot oranges and other summer fruit.

When it's hot out, as it has been in New York City for the past, oh, most of my life (or two months, give or take), nothing refreshes like a good, cold, chocolate shake; however, I can't write about that because my wife will become angry that I'm getting chocolate shakes which are: 1) not good for me, and 2) not being shared with her. So instead I'll write about nothing being as refreshing as good, juicy, summer oranges. Let's be clear: when I say I'll write about good, juicy, summer oranges I m...

Hot oranges and other summer fruit.

When it's hot out, as it has been in New York City for the past, oh, most of my life (or two months, give or take), nothing refreshes like a good, cold, chocolate shake; however, I can't write about that because my wife will become angry that I'm getting chocolate shakes which are: 1) not good for me, and 2) not being shared with her. So instead I'll write about nothing being as refreshing as good, juicy, summer oranges. Let's be clear: when I say I'll write about good, juicy, summer oranges I m...

Weekend Box Office: Don't Choose "Swing Vote" - Anti-Semitic GOP, Typical "White Male Redneck Loser"

By Debbie Schlussel Is Kelsey Grammar really a Republican? Hard to tell, since he chose to be in "Swing Vote" and portray Republicans as anti-Semites and White men as rednecks, idiots, and incompetent fathers. You know when a movie about a Presidential election begins with an anti-Semitic Republican President scheming on how to keep Jews away from the polls, it's not going to be even-handed or good. Or funny. You also know that when the star of a movie--Kevin Costner--is forced to invest $20 mil...

Hola! Happy 29th Pardner In Many Evil Things

The weekend i was sick but happy turning 29th the other meow! Hahahah YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY because it is the last of our 20s. Embrace it. Kiss it. Hump 29. now blow with love, the sick girl p/s: i hope you find a boyfriend this year. no, not your cellphone you called eric or your orgy in cameras. p/p/s: no mo heart attack phone calls from you on your office phone at midnight thank you

Weekend Box Office: Funny But Vile "Step Bros", Gayest Anti-Christian Movie Ever-"Brideshead"; UPDATED: Horrid/Morbid "X...

By Debbie Schlussel Not much of a great selection at the box office, this weekend. * "The X-Files: I Want to Believe": I want to believe I didn't just waste two hours at this horrid piece of doggie dung. Because the studio did not offer a full critic advanced screening, that was a sure sign it was crap. And it was. Plus, they made both stars available for even the tiniest radio station's interviews--again, not a good sign. It's been six years since the TV show of the same name went off the air, ...

Surfing in Public: It?s Like Unprotected Sex

By Jeff Zbar www.chiefhomeofficer.com On any given day, millions of netizens can be found sitting at a cyber cafe, coffee shop or other locale featuring public wi-fi, sipping coffee and tapping away on laptops. Wireless broadband keeps them surfing the Internet, but could someone be “sniffing” around their laptops – or using their connections to the public network to tap into their hard drives? Could they be planting a virus or stealing data? Internet lounges, cyber cafés and hotspots th...

Yeah of course it's about the oil and that's all it's about

Watching Obama give his big Iraq speech today, I told myself a joke that got me laughing so hard, I couldn't stop. Maybe you'll enjoy it too. Imagine Obama looking into the camera saying "Fuck it, we all know why Bush and McCain want to stay in Iraq. All this talk about waiting for this or that to happen -- it's all bullshit, they know it, I know it, the press knows it, and if you think about it you know it too." We're not going to leave Iraq because if we did, it would become a province of Iran...

E3 Day 1: Microsoft

The annual frenzy of gaming news that is E3 has arrived, and just like last year I will be deferring to the people at the expo to give gamers the in-depth story. Here's the highlights of what happened when Microsoft took the stage today (courtesy Evil Avatar, Major Nelson, Game|Life): - Fallout 3. Coming this fall, with exclusive downloadable content for the Xbox and Games for Windows versions. A trailer and live gameplay were shown. - Resident Evil 5. March 13th 2009. Playable footage, includi...

Spoil the Big Climactic Battle of 'Hellboy II' with This Clip

If you trust the critical majority, it looks like Hellboy II should be the clear choice for this weekend's moviegoers not bent on seeing Brendan Fraser inside the Earth's dinosaur-fllled core or Eddie Murphy inside Eddie Murphy. So I would advice not watching this clip that shows over a minute of the big battle between Hellboy and evil Edgar Winter unless you really want to go in having already seen what is likely the climax. But if you're one of those people in the latter, Meet Dave-enthusiast...

Star Trek Red Shirt Ninja Dolls and Squirrel Vandalism

Woohoo, my Star Trek Red Shirt Ninja Doll arrived! You can adopt your own Ninja Doll for just $20 and no shipping fee within North America. Ryan Couldrey also takes commissions. Red Shirt Ninja Doll was -alive- when he first arrived in my mailbox, according to Ryan, so clearly the Evil Neighbourhood Squirrels got to him while Jeff and I were at the cottage. The squirrels have also been chewing through the METAL cover of our Squirrelbuster feeder. Not only that, but they also chewed the tops off...